A certain someone who shall remain nameless* pestered me about the dirth of posts up around here, so I thought I'd emerge momentarily to give the World at Large an update (because the World at Large cares so much, I'm sure).
So, anyway, let's see. I had a dream last night, but this one featured no hug-wanting gorillas. It was much sadder than that - I dreamed that it was the night of the Texas primary, and Obama lost, 47-53%. And then I realized it was my fault, because I volunteered to be a Precinct Captain, and have done absolutely nothing in that capacity.
So, yeah, I've been all swept up by Obamania. Though I don't think he's a god, oh no! Because I've seen the light, and I know god - or at least, I know the phone god made. And that is the iPhone, one of which I now have, and I pet it every day. And no, that does not mean Steve Jobs is god. He's more like Joseph Smith, I figure (or maybe Moses, if you're old-fashioned).
...
I've been mad-busy at work lately, regularly getting in before 8 and leaving 7ish (except for Mondays and Wednesdays, which is 2/5ths of the week, after all). Lots of work, but I'm having fun. Mostly.
Speaking of work, a co-worker of mine transitioned on the job in the last few weeks (in the MtoF way), and I must say, my company officially rocks. They immediately updated their anti-discrimination policy to include gender identity, they brought in some women from a local trans organization for a Q and A session, they changed her name everywhere - and my fellow co-workers have been totally supportive and accepting (we got her a card to welcome her back after her time off, and there were so many signatures we ran out of room).
...
I was quasi-sick for most of the week, with a cold-ish thing. It started over the weekend, and despite my concerted consumption of Airborne, Emergen-C, and even the occasional zinc lozenge, it's been hanging on. But I woke up this morning feeling noticably better, and have continued to feel good throughout the day. So I hope I'm through with the worst of it. But that and the aforementioned lots-of-work have conspired to keep me out of karate for most of the week. I taught Saturday and Monday, and haven't been back since. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to Saturday.
...
If you're not happy with my stretching-the-definition-of-occasional rate of posting, check out Graham's blog - http://morisey.typepad.com/my_weblog/ - mostly politics, some movies, occasional funny videos. His blog's smarter than mine, too.
*I'm not actually sure who it was, in fact, as she was only identified as Garin's mom. And last I checked, there are two of those. Though I have my suspicions...
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Dreamscapes
I had a lively night of dreams last night. I blame the Provigil, which I've been taking the full dosage of lately since I've been getting up extra early for work.
I won't bore you with the details, since dreams are frequently less entertaining in the retelling - but I will supply you with a cast of characters, roughly in order of appearance:
I won't bore you with the details, since dreams are frequently less entertaining in the retelling - but I will supply you with a cast of characters, roughly in order of appearance:
- A small, hug-wanting, talking gorilla.
- The two people who belonged to the gorilla (in a non-binding way)
- Various heist-bungling henchmen
- A very small, and very still, kitten
- My Nevada-mountain travelling mother (do they have mountains in Nevada?)
- My brother
- A Suspicious Character who had taken up with my mother
- Two small children who may or may not have been my nephews
Monday, January 21, 2008
Politics
Hello again. I'm writing a short post now, mainly because I just told a friend of mine about this blog, and I feel like he should have something fresh to read, if he so chooses. And it's been a while, so, you know, it's probably time.
I'm excited about the primary process going on right now (yes, another post not about MS or karate). I was primarily just amused when the Democrats started stirring right after the 2006 Congressional elections - amused because it seemed so clear to me that everybody was so antsy for 2008 that they just couldn't wait, they had to get started RIGHT NOW. But now that it IS 2008, I've decided it's late enough that I can start paying attention.
I'm supporting Obama, as people close to me undoubtedly know. I trust him instinctively, in a way I've never trusted a politician before. But even more than that, I'm so psyched that we're having a real election, with real Democratic candidates, and it's looking like whoever is the nominee has a good chance of winning. Things could change, the GOP could still take us down (much to the delight of my grandmother) - I feel anxious that this could still happen, and I don't want to get too optimistic lest I just end up disappointed. But it feels so refreshing that America is within reach of breaking free of the drudgery and constant disappointment that has been the last 8 years. It reminds me a little of the allegory of the cave - the version my college psychology honor society favored, with the guy who found the sun coming back to acclaim rather than murder. Yes, it's embarrassing (and kind of hilarious) that a college honor society would get the ending of the allegory of the cave so completely wrong - but I do like their version better, I have to admit.
Ok, now I have to get back to work.
I'm excited about the primary process going on right now (yes, another post not about MS or karate). I was primarily just amused when the Democrats started stirring right after the 2006 Congressional elections - amused because it seemed so clear to me that everybody was so antsy for 2008 that they just couldn't wait, they had to get started RIGHT NOW. But now that it IS 2008, I've decided it's late enough that I can start paying attention.
I'm supporting Obama, as people close to me undoubtedly know. I trust him instinctively, in a way I've never trusted a politician before. But even more than that, I'm so psyched that we're having a real election, with real Democratic candidates, and it's looking like whoever is the nominee has a good chance of winning. Things could change, the GOP could still take us down (much to the delight of my grandmother) - I feel anxious that this could still happen, and I don't want to get too optimistic lest I just end up disappointed. But it feels so refreshing that America is within reach of breaking free of the drudgery and constant disappointment that has been the last 8 years. It reminds me a little of the allegory of the cave - the version my college psychology honor society favored, with the guy who found the sun coming back to acclaim rather than murder. Yes, it's embarrassing (and kind of hilarious) that a college honor society would get the ending of the allegory of the cave so completely wrong - but I do like their version better, I have to admit.
Ok, now I have to get back to work.
Monday, December 24, 2007
I Heart Speed
One of the things you hear a lot about when you're becoming familiar with MS is that fatigue is one of the most debilitating aspects of the disease. The stories are true, as it turns out. There are days when I never quite seem to wake up. It's as if I get stuck in that just-woke-up-and-still-groggy phase of the day. Having enough sleep doesn't seem to matter - I can sleep for 8, 9, or 12 hours and still be stuck in that phase. As with so many neurological symptoms, we don't quite have a vocabulary to describe it. It's a feeling of being tired, yes, but it's not a normal feeling of being tired. There are at least two kinds - the "I want to go back to bed" kind and the "I'm plenty alert, it just takes way too much energy to lift my arm" kind. And there are nuances to both.
When I've talked about how it manifests with me to friends, they respond with alarm. What, it's a bad idea to rest my eyes when stopped in traffic? It's not as if I'm actually driving with my eyes closed (hardly ever).
Enter Provigil. My neurologist mentioned it to me as a possibility back in June, and said that if I decided I needed it I could just call it in, wouldn't need an appointment or anything. I resisted for half a year, but at my appointment a few days ago, I went ahead and asked for the prescription. I had more or less decided I wanted it a little while ago, but when I actually fell asleep at my desk the day before, that cinched it. Wow - what a difference it makes. I've been resistant because I don't like to rely on pharmaceuticals any more than I have to, and I worry about the long-term effects of medication. I'm all too aware that bombarding my body with strong chemicals is a risky proposition, even if they do make me feel better in the short-term.
I haven't lost that awareness, I've just given in. It really does make so many things much easier. Like staying alert while driving, for example. And getting through a day. And getting through a karate class. The second half of last week, I really felt like I was able to actually put some energy into my training, for the first time in I don't know how long.
The side effects aren't bad - dry mouth, a medicated feeling. I can tell I'm on something, and it does feel a little like speed. It's not clear to me whether I have more energy than I did when I was "normal" (not like I've ever been normal - but, you know, not diseased), or if I've just become so accustomed to dragging myself through every day that 'normalcy' now bears an uncanny resemblance to 'speed freak.'
Provigil is not habit-forming, which I take some solace in. From an objective viewpoint, I'd rather not take it. But from an experiential standpoint, it's quite wonderful. For the past 6 months or so I haven't wanted to do much of anything - a perfect vacation, to me, was to stay home on the couch. Except that too much of that inevitably left me feeling depressed. With Provigil I actually feel like going out, spending time with friends, experiencing more of the world. Small tasks like cleaning the kitchen (to say nothing of actually leaving the house) are no longer overwhelming.
So, here I am. I've resigned myself to taking Provigil, at least some of the time. At least I don't have to inject it, and I can skip a day without guilt - neither of which is true for my other drug, the "disease modifying drug" called Copaxone - which will do nothing for my symptoms, but may keep me out of a wheelchair in the long-term.
When I've talked about how it manifests with me to friends, they respond with alarm. What, it's a bad idea to rest my eyes when stopped in traffic? It's not as if I'm actually driving with my eyes closed (hardly ever).
Enter Provigil. My neurologist mentioned it to me as a possibility back in June, and said that if I decided I needed it I could just call it in, wouldn't need an appointment or anything. I resisted for half a year, but at my appointment a few days ago, I went ahead and asked for the prescription. I had more or less decided I wanted it a little while ago, but when I actually fell asleep at my desk the day before, that cinched it. Wow - what a difference it makes. I've been resistant because I don't like to rely on pharmaceuticals any more than I have to, and I worry about the long-term effects of medication. I'm all too aware that bombarding my body with strong chemicals is a risky proposition, even if they do make me feel better in the short-term.
I haven't lost that awareness, I've just given in. It really does make so many things much easier. Like staying alert while driving, for example. And getting through a day. And getting through a karate class. The second half of last week, I really felt like I was able to actually put some energy into my training, for the first time in I don't know how long.
The side effects aren't bad - dry mouth, a medicated feeling. I can tell I'm on something, and it does feel a little like speed. It's not clear to me whether I have more energy than I did when I was "normal" (not like I've ever been normal - but, you know, not diseased), or if I've just become so accustomed to dragging myself through every day that 'normalcy' now bears an uncanny resemblance to 'speed freak.'
Provigil is not habit-forming, which I take some solace in. From an objective viewpoint, I'd rather not take it. But from an experiential standpoint, it's quite wonderful. For the past 6 months or so I haven't wanted to do much of anything - a perfect vacation, to me, was to stay home on the couch. Except that too much of that inevitably left me feeling depressed. With Provigil I actually feel like going out, spending time with friends, experiencing more of the world. Small tasks like cleaning the kitchen (to say nothing of actually leaving the house) are no longer overwhelming.
So, here I am. I've resigned myself to taking Provigil, at least some of the time. At least I don't have to inject it, and I can skip a day without guilt - neither of which is true for my other drug, the "disease modifying drug" called Copaxone - which will do nothing for my symptoms, but may keep me out of a wheelchair in the long-term.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Oh My God, Y'all, I Wrote a Novel
Thanks to the prodding of a friend of mine, I decided to try my hand at writing fiction this month for the first time in - oh, years. For those of you not in the know, November is NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month (nanowrimo.org if you're interested). The goal is to write a "lengthy work of fiction" totalling at least 50,000 words in a month.
I did it! 50,000 words is a rather short novel, and mine came in around 58 - 59k (depending on whose word count you believe), but still. It's 82 single-spaced pages, with a few page breaks that may one day be chapter breaks. I haven't read it - I mean, I wrote it, and I've read snatches of it to go back and check details that I put in earlier, but I haven't read it from end-to-end yet. And I don't plan to anytime soon. Everything I've read about editing suggests that you should put it down for a while and come back to it when it can be fresh again, so that's my plan. I imagine it will grow quite a bit, since I did a lot of telling rather than showing, and I'm sure there will be further elaborations. There's also a sub-plot I came up with near the end that I'll need to work in earlier in the editing phase, so I have high hopes that it will actually turn out to be novel-length by the time it's all said and done. And, hopefully, publishable. But those chickens, they are not yet hatched.
Of course, it's about karate. But it's also about hauntings and priests and psychotic cowboys.
I think this is the longest work I've ever done. As I recall, my undergraduate thesis was around 100 pages, but it was also in Courier New, which is a typeface that takes up more space than Times New Roman. It's definitely up in the top two, if nothing else.
I did it! 50,000 words is a rather short novel, and mine came in around 58 - 59k (depending on whose word count you believe), but still. It's 82 single-spaced pages, with a few page breaks that may one day be chapter breaks. I haven't read it - I mean, I wrote it, and I've read snatches of it to go back and check details that I put in earlier, but I haven't read it from end-to-end yet. And I don't plan to anytime soon. Everything I've read about editing suggests that you should put it down for a while and come back to it when it can be fresh again, so that's my plan. I imagine it will grow quite a bit, since I did a lot of telling rather than showing, and I'm sure there will be further elaborations. There's also a sub-plot I came up with near the end that I'll need to work in earlier in the editing phase, so I have high hopes that it will actually turn out to be novel-length by the time it's all said and done. And, hopefully, publishable. But those chickens, they are not yet hatched.
Of course, it's about karate. But it's also about hauntings and priests and psychotic cowboys.
I think this is the longest work I've ever done. As I recall, my undergraduate thesis was around 100 pages, but it was also in Courier New, which is a typeface that takes up more space than Times New Roman. It's definitely up in the top two, if nothing else.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Amy's Back in Austin
I got back from Berkeley late Sunday night. I always pay close attention to how I feel when I return home after a trip - I feel like it provides a nice barometer for how I'm feeling about my life in general. I didn't have a window seat on the plane, so I wasn't able to watch the Austin skyline as we approached, so my first feeling of being back was as I walked through the airport.
I love the Austin airport, because instead of anonymous airport-chain stores and Burger Kings, it's got BookPeople, and Amy's Ice Cream, and The Salt Lick - it's a nice little (retail) microcosm of Austin itself. I distinctly remember walking through the airport once and hearing a song by Wendy Colonna - a local musician who I went to college with. And as I walked through on Sunday night, I felt like Austin fit me quite well. Not that I'm a big barbecue fan, necessarily. It's more that Austin, like me, defiantly labels itself "weird" while surrounded by...well, by Dallas and Houston, for starters. By the south generally. And it's proudly progressive in a state (and a region) that is decidedly conservative. We don't have it easy like Northern California, where pretty much half the state agrees with us - you don't have to get far from Austin to be back in Texas, if you get my meaning. And Austin *is* Texas, in the same way that I am a product of my rural Louisiana upbringing. We celebrate our heritage and its uniqueness, while cleaving ferociously to our progressive, weird outlook. Overly romanticized? Maybe. But that's me - and that's Austin, too.
To bring this around to karate, while I was in Berkeley I got to train at Berkeley Seido. It was a lot of fun, even though there was the whole "I don't know any of these people!" discomfort, as well as the "I'm wrapping a black belt around my waist, I must reprezent!" discomfort. One of the gifts of my training is that I can face those fears, even if they are still fears. And to prove that it's a small world after all, as I'm changing into my gi, one of the guys says from over the partition, "You're from Austin? You ever go to the Magnolia Cafe?" Turns out he used to work there, for a short time while he lived in Austin in the early 90s. Too early for him to have been able to train at Sun Dragon (Sun Dragon being all-women back then). Maybe that's why he didn't stick around (he only lived here for about 6 months).
The class was fun. It was smallish - there were two black belts (not counting myself), two blue belts, a yellow belt, and a brown belt - all adults, and a brand new white belt who seemed around 8. I believe she was the daughter of one of the black belts (the one who lived in Austin, in fact). We did a lot of push ups. Then we did some more. Push ups (and ab work) were interspersed with kihon, including some combinations. Then we went through all 10 basic self defenses, and I learned the first advanced self defense, and got to see the 2nd one. W00t! Then kata - first taikioku (black belts: ura), and the Seido kata - through 5, though I only did the first 4. After class we did what was apparently a routine post-class soji, where we each got a towel and wiped the floor, from end to end. And then back. I've seen this done before, but never participated in it. It's a nice tradition.
The gender mix was interesting - the yellow belt was a woman (Karen), from Honbu - visiting but thinking of moving to Berkeley/the Bay Area for a medical residency (she was in her last semester of med school). The brown belt was a woman - she was Senpai Todd's wife (he's the head instructor). And the little girl was a girl. Of course, the whole class was only 7 people, so it's not like it was overwhelmingly male. It was only after the fact that I noticed that all of the women there were either a)visiting, or b)related to one of the men there. I know intellectually that martial arts is male-dominated, but that's so not the case at Sun Dragon that I tend to forget it. And then my primary recent experience of a co-ed dojo is Thousand Waves, which has a strong male contingent, but still a little over half women. I enjoy training with men, and it's not like I think Sun Dragon should still be all-women - I just wish there were as many women as men in the martial arts, and I actually find it surprising that that's not the case. I'm a product of my environment, I guess.
By the way, the title of this entry is a reference to the country song of the same name.
The first two lines of the chorus are:
I bet Amy's back in Austin/
Working at La Zona Rosa Cafe
...I'm not working at La Zona Rosa, which is not a cafe (it's a bar). But they got the first part right...
I love the Austin airport, because instead of anonymous airport-chain stores and Burger Kings, it's got BookPeople, and Amy's Ice Cream, and The Salt Lick - it's a nice little (retail) microcosm of Austin itself. I distinctly remember walking through the airport once and hearing a song by Wendy Colonna - a local musician who I went to college with. And as I walked through on Sunday night, I felt like Austin fit me quite well. Not that I'm a big barbecue fan, necessarily. It's more that Austin, like me, defiantly labels itself "weird" while surrounded by...well, by Dallas and Houston, for starters. By the south generally. And it's proudly progressive in a state (and a region) that is decidedly conservative. We don't have it easy like Northern California, where pretty much half the state agrees with us - you don't have to get far from Austin to be back in Texas, if you get my meaning. And Austin *is* Texas, in the same way that I am a product of my rural Louisiana upbringing. We celebrate our heritage and its uniqueness, while cleaving ferociously to our progressive, weird outlook. Overly romanticized? Maybe. But that's me - and that's Austin, too.
To bring this around to karate, while I was in Berkeley I got to train at Berkeley Seido. It was a lot of fun, even though there was the whole "I don't know any of these people!" discomfort, as well as the "I'm wrapping a black belt around my waist, I must reprezent!" discomfort. One of the gifts of my training is that I can face those fears, even if they are still fears. And to prove that it's a small world after all, as I'm changing into my gi, one of the guys says from over the partition, "You're from Austin? You ever go to the Magnolia Cafe?" Turns out he used to work there, for a short time while he lived in Austin in the early 90s. Too early for him to have been able to train at Sun Dragon (Sun Dragon being all-women back then). Maybe that's why he didn't stick around (he only lived here for about 6 months).
The class was fun. It was smallish - there were two black belts (not counting myself), two blue belts, a yellow belt, and a brown belt - all adults, and a brand new white belt who seemed around 8. I believe she was the daughter of one of the black belts (the one who lived in Austin, in fact). We did a lot of push ups. Then we did some more. Push ups (and ab work) were interspersed with kihon, including some combinations. Then we went through all 10 basic self defenses, and I learned the first advanced self defense, and got to see the 2nd one. W00t! Then kata - first taikioku (black belts: ura), and the Seido kata - through 5, though I only did the first 4. After class we did what was apparently a routine post-class soji, where we each got a towel and wiped the floor, from end to end. And then back. I've seen this done before, but never participated in it. It's a nice tradition.
The gender mix was interesting - the yellow belt was a woman (Karen), from Honbu - visiting but thinking of moving to Berkeley/the Bay Area for a medical residency (she was in her last semester of med school). The brown belt was a woman - she was Senpai Todd's wife (he's the head instructor). And the little girl was a girl. Of course, the whole class was only 7 people, so it's not like it was overwhelmingly male. It was only after the fact that I noticed that all of the women there were either a)visiting, or b)related to one of the men there. I know intellectually that martial arts is male-dominated, but that's so not the case at Sun Dragon that I tend to forget it. And then my primary recent experience of a co-ed dojo is Thousand Waves, which has a strong male contingent, but still a little over half women. I enjoy training with men, and it's not like I think Sun Dragon should still be all-women - I just wish there were as many women as men in the martial arts, and I actually find it surprising that that's not the case. I'm a product of my environment, I guess.
By the way, the title of this entry is a reference to the country song of the same name.
The first two lines of the chorus are:
I bet Amy's back in Austin/
Working at La Zona Rosa Cafe
...I'm not working at La Zona Rosa, which is not a cafe (it's a bar). But they got the first part right...
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Rapides Parish and Me
So, I finally got around to calling today to find how much I was going to be set back for my little run in with the law back when I went to Jena. Turns out that going 56 in a 45 in a construction zone in Rapides Parish will cost you $182. Which is more than I want to pay, of course, but it's a lot less than I feared. I don't think Louisiana is one of those states that actually doubles speeding tickets if you're in a construction zone, it's just higher. I have a sneaking suspicion that had it been in Texas, it would have been closer to $500.
Sometimes being in a place that's been economically depressed since the time of Lincoln has its advantages. Especially when you don't have to live there. Of course, I'm within $50 of paying three times as much rent for my apartment than I did for the (relatively) huge two bedroom house I rented in Natchitoches. But then, that house has probably been condemned by now. It was there that I discovered that dish washing detergent can actually freeze overnight.
One other thing I like about the Louisiana traffic-ticket system: you get 6 weeks to pay your ticket or show up in court. Though I blame that little luxury for the time I spent as a fugitive from the law a couple of years ago when I missed my Houston court date, and ended up having to hire one of those skeevy lawyers that send you mail when you miss a court date and become a fugitive from the law.
Sometimes being in a place that's been economically depressed since the time of Lincoln has its advantages. Especially when you don't have to live there. Of course, I'm within $50 of paying three times as much rent for my apartment than I did for the (relatively) huge two bedroom house I rented in Natchitoches. But then, that house has probably been condemned by now. It was there that I discovered that dish washing detergent can actually freeze overnight.
One other thing I like about the Louisiana traffic-ticket system: you get 6 weeks to pay your ticket or show up in court. Though I blame that little luxury for the time I spent as a fugitive from the law a couple of years ago when I missed my Houston court date, and ended up having to hire one of those skeevy lawyers that send you mail when you miss a court date and become a fugitive from the law.
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