So, I finally got around to calling today to find how much I was going to be set back for my little run in with the law back when I went to Jena. Turns out that going 56 in a 45 in a construction zone in Rapides Parish will cost you $182. Which is more than I want to pay, of course, but it's a lot less than I feared. I don't think Louisiana is one of those states that actually doubles speeding tickets if you're in a construction zone, it's just higher. I have a sneaking suspicion that had it been in Texas, it would have been closer to $500.
Sometimes being in a place that's been economically depressed since the time of Lincoln has its advantages. Especially when you don't have to live there. Of course, I'm within $50 of paying three times as much rent for my apartment than I did for the (relatively) huge two bedroom house I rented in Natchitoches. But then, that house has probably been condemned by now. It was there that I discovered that dish washing detergent can actually freeze overnight.
One other thing I like about the Louisiana traffic-ticket system: you get 6 weeks to pay your ticket or show up in court. Though I blame that little luxury for the time I spent as a fugitive from the law a couple of years ago when I missed my Houston court date, and ended up having to hire one of those skeevy lawyers that send you mail when you miss a court date and become a fugitive from the law.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Big Pharma Wants to Be My Friend, and I Find That Creepy
Yesterday on my way to class, Shared Solutions called me. Shared Solutions is the name of the "support" arm of the company that makes my MS drugs.
Think about that for a minute, and tell me you don't find it sinister. I suppose it's slightly less sinister because MS has no cure, so it's not like they need to worry about keeping me sick. But it still strikes me as somehow very wrong that a company whose main interest in me is that I pay them (or more accurately, my insurance company pays them) $1000+ a month wants to be my buddy.
I'm not bothered by the idea of the 24 hour nurse line - that's useful (at least potentially, I've never used it), and it strikes me as good customer service to provide that. And it doesn't bother me that they encourage their customers to report on odd effects - "post market research," as it's called, is important, since nobody thinks we should wait a lifetime to do a full longitudinal study before releasing drugs to the market, and yet it's important to know the effects of drugs long-term.
But that they call periodically, just to check on me? Creepy. Like, I want my friends in Charleston and San Jose and [wherever Harper is now, I have no idea] to do that, because they're my *friends*. But my drug company? Mind your own, please. I'll call you if I need you.
Think about that for a minute, and tell me you don't find it sinister. I suppose it's slightly less sinister because MS has no cure, so it's not like they need to worry about keeping me sick. But it still strikes me as somehow very wrong that a company whose main interest in me is that I pay them (or more accurately, my insurance company pays them) $1000+ a month wants to be my buddy.
I'm not bothered by the idea of the 24 hour nurse line - that's useful (at least potentially, I've never used it), and it strikes me as good customer service to provide that. And it doesn't bother me that they encourage their customers to report on odd effects - "post market research," as it's called, is important, since nobody thinks we should wait a lifetime to do a full longitudinal study before releasing drugs to the market, and yet it's important to know the effects of drugs long-term.
But that they call periodically, just to check on me? Creepy. Like, I want my friends in Charleston and San Jose and [wherever Harper is now, I have no idea] to do that, because they're my *friends*. But my drug company? Mind your own, please. I'll call you if I need you.
Shodan Test: Done!
So, Saturday happened. For those of you following along, that would be Saturday, October 20th. The day of my shodan test. I suppose my black belt in Kyokushin was also a shodan, but because we didn't observe rank above black belt, it didn't really occur to me to call it that. Also, since we didn't observe the dan system, I wasn't sure what the names of the different dans were. But now I'm hip. And I have a shodan in Seido, which is pretty damn cool. The test was awesome, which is really not a suprise but is good to savor nonethless. I've gushed in various forums already, but what the heck, I'll gush a little bit more here. I am so damn thankful that Sun Dragon exists, and that it's taken the path that it has. It really, truly, makes my life so much better. I know this because I still remember my life pre-Sun Dragon, and not to get too overdramatic about it, but there's really no comparison. It's not a magic pill or a panacea, but it has given me both a wonderful, supportive community and the mental/emotional tools to take better advantage of that community, as well as to just be in the world much more courageously. Oh, and having some modicum of physical prowess is also nice.
Ok, enough of the mush. The test was 5 hours long, which was satisfyingly draining. We were put through our paces starting with basics, and going through self defense, both formal and informal, sparring drills (Yakosokus), kata, and surely lots more than that because that doesn't seem like it could take 5 hours. One of my weaknesses is that I don't tend to remember events, especially emotionally-charged events, all that well. Speaking of emotionally-charged, the test started with an oral portion. During which I cried. I sort of knew I would - I was taken by surprise by my tears at my Sensei's test back in April, but with that experience etched in my memory, I figured it would happen again.
Do I contradict myself? Then I contradict myself. I contain multitudes.
Anyway, yes, I cried, which I don't enjoy because it's embarrassing, and I like to think of myself as being made of sterner stuff. But really I'm a total softie. Which is not entirely bad, I guess, for one's emotional health. Still. I didn't wholly enjoy that part, but at least I was prepared for it.
My mom came to the test, which was good. She'd never seen me train before, much less test. I am not what one would call close to my family (though that's beginning to change a little bit). I think she enjoyed it - she said her favorite part was the board breaking. Oh! There was also a board breaking section. I used a shotei, which is a palm heel (before I started training in the martial arts, it never occurred to me that your palm has a heel just like your foot does). The thing with board breaking is that it's totally a mental thing. Well, not totally, obviously - but the point is that it's not that hard to break a board as long as you commit, but if you go in thinking it's going to hurt or otherwise not sure of your success, you probably won't be able to do it. That also tends to be true with rolling and falling, in my experience. So anyway, when we'd done some breaking in class a couple of weeks prior, I'd had mixed success, mainly because I didn't want to get hurt. This time, though, I sort of figured that it didn't matter if I got hurt, because I was at the test, and if I had an injury afterwards it wasn't that big a deal. Of course, I also knew that I wouldn't hurt myself if I committed, so I wasn't actually scared of it. I was just psyching myself up, but that's how I phrased it in my mind. I broke on the first try, which was gratifying.
There was also a portion where we had to run a gauntlet, with lots of punching and kicking. The gauntlet was made of various karateka holding pads and targets. It wasn't technically hard, since it was free-form, do-whatever-comes-to-mind, but it was perhaps the most tiring section in terms of cardio-vascular demands. It's also the only time I noticed anything MS-related during the test. My left leg started doing its burning/unhappy thing. I grabbed the wall (and at one point, Senpai KJ) to take the weight off of it and let it rest for a few moments, and that subdued it enough that I was able to continue with modifications. So, yay for that.
I could probably go on and on about the test, and might still in future posts, but that's all I'll say for now. The party following was also a bunch of fun. My mom decided not to go, because she didn't particularly feel like being surrounded by people she didn't know, and I can't say I blame her for that. I actually was one of the first to arrive (right around 7) and one of the last to leave (around midnight). That's not all that typical for me, but the people there were just so good to be around, and I felt like celebrating - even if I did a lot of that celebrating sitting down. Rarely has sitting felt so good. It was especially nice to be able to spend time around Sensei Suzanne and Shihan Nancy, since I see both of them rarely - and you know, they kick ass. But it was also just as nice to just be able to hang out with my karateka in a social setting. There used to be more Sun Dragon parties - for a while there, we had pretty much every month covered as far as birthdays went. January was Joy and Mahala, February was Harper, March was Carmel, April was Miriam, May was Beth, June was me. Ok, that's just the first 6 months, after which I guess we all went to bed early until December and KJ's birthday. Now people have moved away, gotten married, stopped training, or otherwise turned boring, for the most part. But I have hope! For Cindy is having a birthday party soon, so maybe this'll start another run (no pressure, Cindy).
Ok, that's all for now.
Ok, enough of the mush. The test was 5 hours long, which was satisfyingly draining. We were put through our paces starting with basics, and going through self defense, both formal and informal, sparring drills (Yakosokus), kata, and surely lots more than that because that doesn't seem like it could take 5 hours. One of my weaknesses is that I don't tend to remember events, especially emotionally-charged events, all that well. Speaking of emotionally-charged, the test started with an oral portion. During which I cried. I sort of knew I would - I was taken by surprise by my tears at my Sensei's test back in April, but with that experience etched in my memory, I figured it would happen again.
Do I contradict myself? Then I contradict myself. I contain multitudes.
Anyway, yes, I cried, which I don't enjoy because it's embarrassing, and I like to think of myself as being made of sterner stuff. But really I'm a total softie. Which is not entirely bad, I guess, for one's emotional health. Still. I didn't wholly enjoy that part, but at least I was prepared for it.
My mom came to the test, which was good. She'd never seen me train before, much less test. I am not what one would call close to my family (though that's beginning to change a little bit). I think she enjoyed it - she said her favorite part was the board breaking. Oh! There was also a board breaking section. I used a shotei, which is a palm heel (before I started training in the martial arts, it never occurred to me that your palm has a heel just like your foot does). The thing with board breaking is that it's totally a mental thing. Well, not totally, obviously - but the point is that it's not that hard to break a board as long as you commit, but if you go in thinking it's going to hurt or otherwise not sure of your success, you probably won't be able to do it. That also tends to be true with rolling and falling, in my experience. So anyway, when we'd done some breaking in class a couple of weeks prior, I'd had mixed success, mainly because I didn't want to get hurt. This time, though, I sort of figured that it didn't matter if I got hurt, because I was at the test, and if I had an injury afterwards it wasn't that big a deal. Of course, I also knew that I wouldn't hurt myself if I committed, so I wasn't actually scared of it. I was just psyching myself up, but that's how I phrased it in my mind. I broke on the first try, which was gratifying.
There was also a portion where we had to run a gauntlet, with lots of punching and kicking. The gauntlet was made of various karateka holding pads and targets. It wasn't technically hard, since it was free-form, do-whatever-comes-to-mind, but it was perhaps the most tiring section in terms of cardio-vascular demands. It's also the only time I noticed anything MS-related during the test. My left leg started doing its burning/unhappy thing. I grabbed the wall (and at one point, Senpai KJ) to take the weight off of it and let it rest for a few moments, and that subdued it enough that I was able to continue with modifications. So, yay for that.
I could probably go on and on about the test, and might still in future posts, but that's all I'll say for now. The party following was also a bunch of fun. My mom decided not to go, because she didn't particularly feel like being surrounded by people she didn't know, and I can't say I blame her for that. I actually was one of the first to arrive (right around 7) and one of the last to leave (around midnight). That's not all that typical for me, but the people there were just so good to be around, and I felt like celebrating - even if I did a lot of that celebrating sitting down. Rarely has sitting felt so good. It was especially nice to be able to spend time around Sensei Suzanne and Shihan Nancy, since I see both of them rarely - and you know, they kick ass. But it was also just as nice to just be able to hang out with my karateka in a social setting. There used to be more Sun Dragon parties - for a while there, we had pretty much every month covered as far as birthdays went. January was Joy and Mahala, February was Harper, March was Carmel, April was Miriam, May was Beth, June was me. Ok, that's just the first 6 months, after which I guess we all went to bed early until December and KJ's birthday. Now people have moved away, gotten married, stopped training, or otherwise turned boring, for the most part. But I have hope! For Cindy is having a birthday party soon, so maybe this'll start another run (no pressure, Cindy).
Ok, that's all for now.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Again with the Mouthing Off
Last night I developed a new-found appreciation for just how good of a shape I'm in. Or was in, until I got sick. Remember how in my last post I said I staved off the cold from the beginning of last week? Turns out, not so much. I was coughing on Friday enough to deepen my voice (I'm sure it was very sexy), and then on Saturday I was full-on miserable. I made it to the 10AM class that I teach, then crawled home and slept for about a zillion hours. Made it to work on Monday for all of about 3 hours. Tuesday was slightly better, and Wednesday I was at work all day!
This, plus my test next Saturday, convinced me that I was in great shape to go back to karate. I made it through the kids' class ok, and the begining of the 6:30 adult class. I worked on the 4th Yakosoku Kumite with Senpai Chad. But by the end of the 6:30 class, I was quite certain I was about to die. It had only been about 40 minutes. Usually I stay for the 7:30 class.
Usually a full 3 hours leaves me tired, but not in the 'mop the floor with me' way. Just 'good workout' tired. Getting out of my car and into my apartment last night was a monumental undertaking, though. I couldn't get over how wiped out I was.
The good news is that I have the 4th Yakosoku more or less memorized. Now I just need to drill the 6th and 7th Kihon Kumites, and the intermediate self defenses, and I think I'm in good shape. Which is good, given that I have 9 days left. Gulp.
In other news, I missed my 3rd injection ever on Tuesday night. I was just so tired, and didn't quite have the will to cause myself the pain. the other two injections I've missed were when I went to Jena, because I brought them with me but later realized that they had been exposed to 100+ degree temperatures sitting in my car all day, so it seemed like a risk to inject them, especially away from home. Also I ended up sleeping at a rest stop, and it just didn't seem right.
Saturday night, I had the most painful injection ever. This was in the throes of my sickness, remember. Man did it suck. It was an upper arm injection, and for some reason the muscle started spasming when I injected. usually, I kind of enjoy muscle spasms. They're neat. But this time it was accompanied by awful, stinging pain that lasted and lasted. I hardly ever curse when I inject anymore, so the steady stream of "fuckfuckfuck" and the grimacing and whatnot made my friend K (who was watching tv with me) rather concerned. I have three theories on why it happened:
1) Cold medicine interaction. I wouldn't expect this, but it was something unusual in my body, so I guess it's a possibility.
2) Injection was too warm. K had been, uh, keeping it warm with his posterior parts (in other words, he was sitting on it). OR
3) I missed the subcutaneous layer and injected into the muscle instead. I injected a little lower on my arm than usual, and it may have been that my subcutaneous layer was thinner there. As it is, it is my cross to bear that my arms and legs are so relatively muscular, which means a more painful injection. Luckily, my stomach and ass do not have this problem. :-/
This, plus my test next Saturday, convinced me that I was in great shape to go back to karate. I made it through the kids' class ok, and the begining of the 6:30 adult class. I worked on the 4th Yakosoku Kumite with Senpai Chad. But by the end of the 6:30 class, I was quite certain I was about to die. It had only been about 40 minutes. Usually I stay for the 7:30 class.
Usually a full 3 hours leaves me tired, but not in the 'mop the floor with me' way. Just 'good workout' tired. Getting out of my car and into my apartment last night was a monumental undertaking, though. I couldn't get over how wiped out I was.
The good news is that I have the 4th Yakosoku more or less memorized. Now I just need to drill the 6th and 7th Kihon Kumites, and the intermediate self defenses, and I think I'm in good shape. Which is good, given that I have 9 days left. Gulp.
In other news, I missed my 3rd injection ever on Tuesday night. I was just so tired, and didn't quite have the will to cause myself the pain. the other two injections I've missed were when I went to Jena, because I brought them with me but later realized that they had been exposed to 100+ degree temperatures sitting in my car all day, so it seemed like a risk to inject them, especially away from home. Also I ended up sleeping at a rest stop, and it just didn't seem right.
Saturday night, I had the most painful injection ever. This was in the throes of my sickness, remember. Man did it suck. It was an upper arm injection, and for some reason the muscle started spasming when I injected. usually, I kind of enjoy muscle spasms. They're neat. But this time it was accompanied by awful, stinging pain that lasted and lasted. I hardly ever curse when I inject anymore, so the steady stream of "fuckfuckfuck" and the grimacing and whatnot made my friend K (who was watching tv with me) rather concerned. I have three theories on why it happened:
1) Cold medicine interaction. I wouldn't expect this, but it was something unusual in my body, so I guess it's a possibility.
2) Injection was too warm. K had been, uh, keeping it warm with his posterior parts (in other words, he was sitting on it). OR
3) I missed the subcutaneous layer and injected into the muscle instead. I injected a little lower on my arm than usual, and it may have been that my subcutaneous layer was thinner there. As it is, it is my cross to bear that my arms and legs are so relatively muscular, which means a more painful injection. Luckily, my stomach and ass do not have this problem. :-/
Friday, October 5, 2007
That's What I Get for Mouthing Off
Right after (so soon after I suspect a supernatural entity with malignant intent must have been paying attention) I posted about having really good energy lately, I got sick, as in with a cold. Focused application of Airborne and icky-but-tasting-faintly-of-raspberry natural immune boosters from People's Pharmacy staved it off for the most part, but needless to say I have not had abundant energy this week.
I wonder, though, if my impending cold was enough to distract my immune system from attacking me and direct it towards, you know, doing what it's supposed to do. It's a theory - one based on only a flimsy piece of anecdotal evidence; so, nothing that would stand up in court. But a theory nonetheless.
One last gripe before I get back to work. I know I'm incredibly lucky to have symptoms as mild as I do, and I really have no room to complain. But I am so tired of not being able to do back kicks, spinning kicks, or hook kicks without almost (or actually) toppling over. These are not easy techniques, which almost makes it worse. If I couldn't do a front kick, that would clearly be because of my disease. But if I can't execute a difficult technique well, is that my disease, or is it just general incompetence? I guess ultimately it doesn't matter, the solution is the same - keep showing up, keep trying, and remember that it's not a race. Nothing to prove, etc. But it's frustrating.
I wonder, though, if my impending cold was enough to distract my immune system from attacking me and direct it towards, you know, doing what it's supposed to do. It's a theory - one based on only a flimsy piece of anecdotal evidence; so, nothing that would stand up in court. But a theory nonetheless.
One last gripe before I get back to work. I know I'm incredibly lucky to have symptoms as mild as I do, and I really have no room to complain. But I am so tired of not being able to do back kicks, spinning kicks, or hook kicks without almost (or actually) toppling over. These are not easy techniques, which almost makes it worse. If I couldn't do a front kick, that would clearly be because of my disease. But if I can't execute a difficult technique well, is that my disease, or is it just general incompetence? I guess ultimately it doesn't matter, the solution is the same - keep showing up, keep trying, and remember that it's not a race. Nothing to prove, etc. But it's frustrating.
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